Human after all

We think we're cool. We think we can handle it. After all, we're in control of all this mess. But we're still vulnerable to all the foibles and follies of all the rest of humanity.

Today, I accidentally personally embarassed someone. They retaliated by very publicly embarrasing me professionally. I, of course, reacted like a stung child- I publicly pointed out the unfairness and childishness of their response. I know, great way to deal with a superior. I immediately regretted how I reacted (like a jerk), but I had other things to do.

Later I got the gumption to go to that person and give them a double apology: once for the inadvertant slight, once for the indended retaliation. They, in turn, said that they were about to find me to apologize for their part as well. In the end, swallowing my pride led to a swift and honorable end. Had I "kept to my guns" I probably would have wounded a valuable realationship. It had the added bonus of reminding me- I'm human, too, and I can only expect forgiveness of my many faults by honestly forgiving the faults in others. Lesson learned.

A World full of Candles

I was trying to come up with an appropriate metaphor/simile/image the other day to express to kids about how some people tear others down to try and feel better about themselves. I was at a loss other than the old trite stuff all teachers and parents say. Then I happened to see a picture a child had drawn showing a Christmas candle. The image flew into my head fully grown.

Some people will stand in a room full of candles and enjoy the fact that there are all these pretty lights, and the room is brightly lit. They appreciate the other lights and can hold their candle higher if needed.

Others, though, have a different reaction. They feel that their own candle isn't special enough, so they begin to blow out the other candles, one by one. Pretty soon, yes, their candle seems very bright, because the room is dark and the corners lay in shadow. They are pleased with themselves that no one has a brighter candle than them, but they're now afraid of the dark, lonely room.

Use your candle to light the others and enjoy the glow.

Lore of the Rings

Wedding rings, that is. Rings of gold on the third finger, left hand. Most of us know the symbology: a circle is never-ending, "like our love"; it also has the added meaning of our love was always there, waiting to be discovered; the gold is eternal, never diminishing in its luster over the years. Those are great sentiments about love. But are they all that great for marriage?

I think wedding rings should be silver. You still get the ring symbol, but silver is a better symbol for marriage. "Gold will always be gold." It shines with only a slight dusting every now and then. Marriages aren't like that, not good ones anyway. Silver is a precious metal, but with silver you have to polish it every so often or it tarnishes. Like a marriage, it takes some effort. You've got to give your spouse loving attention to keep the shine on a marriage.

Take it from a guy who wears a silver ring and is in his 27th year married to the same woman- keep the silver polished, and it will shine enough to pass on to your children.